About Us

Lisa and I each present our story from our own viewpoints.  

Compare and contrast.

Hunter’s Story

Lisa and I go back a ways.  A good ways.  We will have known each other for 16 years at the time of our wedding.  We lived 2 blocks from each other for years.  We have travelled foreign countries together, camped together, worked together at the same firm, stayed up late drinking together, danced at multiple weddings together, spent weekends together.   Yet, never even tried a kiss until 2 years ago.

Which begs the obvious question…what took so darn long!?!

Which is a good question.

A very good question.

I could draw comparisons to how fine wine requires time.  I could say that building for the sky requires careful work on the foundations.  I could say that a work of art requires a lifetime of preparation.  But, no, I would never say such banal things would I?  Don’t answer that.

Lisa and I overlapped at the Univ. of Oregon in1993. 

Here is how I remember her:  attractive, confident, and at the center of life in Lawrence Hall.  I noticed her straight off.  She, apparently, has no memory of me until later when I was cranky with her in a studio review. 

When I arrived, she had been there for two years, and was well established as things go in the quick turnover world of grad school.  She and her friends were the ones we noobs looked to for academic and social cues.  They knew where to go, how to get things done, and were the ones having the parties and talking the good gossip.

So yes, I knew her well, though admittedly we didn’t talk much.

I apparently came on her radar when she was enlisted to give progress critiques to my  design studio.  She was assigned to review my work, and proceeded to say a bunch of probably brilliant stuff of which I have no recollection. 

I was, at the time, pretty much a wreck. 

It was my first design studio of grad school, and my personal expectations were sky high, and my work was falling well short of my expectations.  The last thing I wanted at that moment was to show it to anyone, much less pin it up on the wall and discuss it in public.   I just wanted more time to work. 

So lucky Lisa, she got to try and talk to me in this state.  No wonder she wrote me off as dating material for years. 

Time passes, and I graduate and move to Portland – instantly recognizing that this city would soon become the envy of all the world.  She graduates and moves to San Francisco – temporarily taken in by the desire to be cold all year and pay fortunes for cramped damp accommodations. 

Before long she moves up to Portland joins our family of friends -  where our damp accommodations are much cheaper by comparison.  (Or were until the rest of San Francisco followed her here.) 

Since that time, we have probably socialized with each other an average of every other week, for many, many years.  We are blessed with a pretty tight group of friends here, and we spend a good bit of time in each other’s company. 

Once she was absorbed into the family, she was family.  One doesn’t consider family for dating, usually.  (Insert obligatory joke about the deep South here)  I won’t say I didn’t occasionally size her up appreciatively, and I certainly developed a deep respect for her, but I was not about to risk the excellent group of friends that we have by risking a breakup that could divide the group.  I seriously would just not allow myself to consider such a thing.  I remember thinking on multiple occasions that she was a catch, and even pointed it out to other guys.

Insert Australia. 

We might have stayed that way, always looking outward from the group for our soul mates, if something hadn’t broken the pattern.  That something seems to have come in the form of my move to Australia.  The move gave me time away from my close group of friends, lending perspective.  When Lisa came to visit, I was able to see her out-of-context, and in new light. 

Lisa came to Australia twice while I was there.  The first time, I was not single, but we shared an amazing trip to Uluru and Kings Canyon, and I was impressed that she made such a good travelling companion. She had the best attitude, even when I twice had us hiking in the heat of the day in the scorching outback.  I was amazed at how easy and natural it could feel spending time with someone, and the quality of conversation we could share.

The second visit, a year later, I was now single.  This time I was far from oblivious to Lisa’s charms, but was valiantly keeping myself in denial.  After all, she was not “an option” – she was Family.  Besides, I had no idea if she felt anything for me besides our long established friendship.  And again, as we spent time in Australia, and then toured New Zealand, I could not help but notice how darn cool she was.  We had, in my mind, an epic trip with Jason, Jennifer, and Francis, reinforcing my decision to move back to Portland; these people are priceless (as are the others who couldn’t make the trip).

Back in Portland, I’m single, Lisa is single, and…well…nothing.  Nothing besides (speaking for myself) a growing intense awareness of each other coupled with an apprehension against risking the invaluable thing we already had – our friendship with each other, and the others. 

True, there were one or two people who decided that Lisa and I were perfect for each other, and made it their business to bring it up at any opportunity.  I remember some of those conversations, and how there was less and less conviction behind my denials.

At some point I realized that I was spending a bit too much time trying not to like Lisa.

Something shifted, and I started dwelling on just how many great and rare qualities were contained in that single being. 

Still, it took about a year for my thick head to process all this, realize that I was infatuated, and pick up on the fact that Lisa seemed to be sizing me up too.  By that time the electricity in the air was conspicuous.

Here is where I am supposed to tell you how I finally took action and declared my intentions, but...  

On Easter of 2008, after an amazing meal with friends at Calvert’s house, Lisa did the brave thing and basically said – hey, there is something going on here, isn’t there?

Yes, yes there was.  And yes there still is.  More than ever. 

And I am just as mystified as you might be as to why it took so darn long for me to figure this all out. 

But it happened, and that is all that matters.








Lisa's Story


Hunter and I first met over sixteen years ago in the fall of 1993 when we were both architecture students at the University of Oregon. I was in my third year of what proved to be a four year Masters of Architecture program.  My studio program that Fall was to design a small public health clinic for a remote Eastern Oregon town.  Hunter was in his first quarter at graduate school designing a medical clinic as well, and his professor asked mine if we could give his students a progress review.  Although I had already completed two full years of architecture school, I was intimidated by the idea of reviewing students who had completed a Bachelor of Architecture.  They were already professionals just coming back to school to polish their skills -- I was still a student.  For the reviews, I was paired with two other studio mates and we started with Hunter.  Two things quickly became apparent:  1. my fellow reviewers were obviously more intimidated than me because they would not say ONE word  2.  Hunter would rather be anywhere else than presenting his project at that time and would only say TWO words (or so it seemed) in answer to any question.  And on that awkward day our story began.

We were not really friends while at school, but part of a large group of mutual friends which means I have vague and distant memories of Hunter while at U of O.  The most vivid is his stellar performance as a member of ABBA performing ‘Dancing Queen’ during a Halloween party.  (Did I mention he portrayed a female member of the group?) Although we both graduated in the same year, I moved back to San Francisco while Hunter went up to Portland with most everyone else I knew at the time.  San Francisco is an amazing city and I met some wonderful friends, but Oregon pulled me back after about three years.  In that time, Hunter had become central to my closest friends from school.  He was also single.  Here are some reasons I had for not expressing interest in Hunter when I first moved to Portland: 

He was too handsome.  

He was too athletic.

He had a dog.

He liked puns.

Obviously one of these might give someone pause, but in general we can all probably agree that I had some strange criteria for judging a future partner.

Over the years, we got to know each other quite a bit better -- he helped me find an apartment three blocks from his house and that made it easier to hang out together.  I realized item number 3 was not an issue because Oskar was the best dog in the world, but items 1, 2 & 4 still present and more important still, Hunter had become a good friend.  Good friends are extremely valuable, and this effectively took him off the ‘available’ list.

Hunter dated fairly consistently over the years and became serious with someone who wanted to live abroad.  They chose Australia -- a country I had always wanted to visit.  A mutual friend and I planned on traveling together but when she bowed out I decided to go anyway for a three week stay.  The plane arrived in Sydney in the late evening and strangely enough Hunter talked so MUCH that night that I finally had to beg to go to sleep.  But during my stay I felt comfortable with and close to Hunter in a way that never had occurred in Oregon and this planted a little subconscious kernel of ‘want’ in me.

When the relationship in Australia did not work out, I quickly joined plans with other friends to visit Australia again the next year.  Although strong attraction was present, the fear of ruining friendships was stronger.  This fear held reign for a full year after Hunter’s return to Portland, until an epic Easter brunch at a friends house created a situation where enough champagne was imbibed to provide the courage to take a risk. I knew after the first kiss that is was not a mistake, and after the first month that I wanted to be with Hunter for the rest of my life.